Summer of May 2026
- Waniwin
- May 14
- 6 min read
Hello friends,
It feels strange to write a letter after so many quiet months.
Life:
At the beginning of the year, I thought I knew what I wanted and how I was going to tackle things. More work, more consistency, more momentum, more specificity. Instead, life gently asked me to slow down. I mentioned this last summer from my epileptic attacks, but my doctor told me I had to slow down my life, for my own health and how my brain now operates. I think I have struggled with the concept a bit, I am surrounded by such amazing people who achieve so much, and I have had to find my own rhythm. Struggling with the idea of ‘keeping up’ but it’s never been about keeping up with anyone, but living in a way that only I know how.
The past few months have been less about producing anything and pushing myself to create because I feel I must… and more about learning how to live well inside my own life. This shift in thinking and living has slowly been creating a new well of inspiration for which creativity emerges.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to belong somewhere not just online, not just creatively, but within. What it means to wake up each day and choose to participate in life even when energy is limited, motivation feels distant, or having no true sense of direction. Though.. For me its been that I have so many option and directions I could take my craft that I've been indecisive.
For a long time, I believed creativity had to look like constant output. Now I’m learning that creativity can also look like rest. Recovery. Observation. Quiet curiosity. Letting ideas breathe before asking them to perform.
Health has become a much bigger part of my reality the past year. I’ve had to genuinely consider pacing, energy, and what sustainability actually means for me. Instead of asking “How much can I do?” I’ve been asking:
“What kind of life do I want to genuinely create for myself?” and “What do I want out of life?”
That the answers have often changed a lot.
Art
Streaming and art are still deeply important to me… but I’m approaching them differently now. Less pressure to be constantly present. More intention behind when I show up and why. I want the spaces I create to feel calm, grounded, and genuine rather than performative, exhausting or an excuse to fill something for me artificially.
Slower, more considerate, genuine, authentic, thoughtful.. If I am bound to live slowly, then I'll do it in a way that is genuine and helps me actually feel alive.
Lately I’ve been returning to smaller, quieter forms of creation:
sketchbooks in the forms of daily diaries
miniature painting and slow craft,
studying light, texture, and atmosphere,
learning how to enjoy making things again instead of trying to prove something through them.. And not losing myself along the way.
I am thinking for the long term and what genuinely matters to me.
If you’ve been here for a while, thank you for staying through the quieter periods. If you’re newer, welcome. This space is slowly becoming less about productivity and more about shared presence, people existing alongside each other while trying to live thoughtfully.
For the coming months, you’ll likely see:
Me returning to streaming,
Slow art projects but genuine outcomes,
more reflection and worldbuilding,
OCs
and experiments with creating out of sheer enjoyment.
Streaming:
I've thought a lot about this, and before I used streaming as a way to fill emotional connection, though I also used to for work and as a quiet space for me and others, I was holding onto it too much as a way to run from facing myself honestly. A sense of purpose in a time I was searching for belonging and stability. Which.. that was something I don't look for externally, but I provide for myself internally.. and quietly streaming became tied to pressure: being consistent, filling space, performing usefulness and proving myself.
But now, after a years break and developing an internal relationship with myself, how i view the internet and my streaming has changed. As well as so many other things in my life. I no longer see streaming as a way to find myself, to make sustainable relationships and validate what I do. But to share a space from a place of stability that I've cultivated myself. Streaming is less of an anchor I depend on and more of a studio I invite others into.. which is what I wanted from the beginning but I was not ready to provide.
So on May 16th 2026, I plan to return to streaming and going back into Co-Working streams.
Miniature Painting:
Finally one last fun addition, I have been playing around with different forms of creativity. I have continued doing crochet and have tried different complex patterns, I have gotten my hands on portable watercolors, and I have been playing around with a daily sketchbook diary.. where I open my sketchbook and sketch everyday, soemthing.. anything.. not to improve or to make pieces and ideas. But simply to be a little creative, even if its sketching out something in my day for 10 minutes. But one thing I have picked up... or.. more like stumbled into... is Miniature Painting.
You see... I love Warhammer 40k, I stumbled into listening Lore videos about the universe while I was working in University and I needed something to listen to. I listened to a video about the entire lore from beginning to end in 30 minutes and I was hooked. I have already been getting into and exploring darker themes in art and media, but this was a different level to me. I got into their games such as Space Marine 2, their books and looked at their actual minis. My cousin who painted mini's before made them for fun, and made more fantasy based minis. I thought it seemed fun but the small work seemed a little hard to do...
Warhammer mini's in particular are extremely expensive due to the IP and age, and how its a Table-Top Game who are reliant on having minis.
One day, I told myself "the next time I enter a nerd store... i'm walking away with some minis.... and so.. one day I walked away with a Warhammer mini's starter back, which had some paints, a brush and 3 in total Space Marines. Needless to say, I was excited... but also a bad decision.. I love Warhammer. But it is probably one of the most expensive hobbies.. besides maybe travelling the world.
So.. I got to work, I did so so so so sOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much research. On tools, on techniques, on prices. The tools are also expensive to get your hands on... paints, brushes, sponges, a proper palette, glue, sander, maybe a drill. And then... the painting techniques themselves... so I got some sprays, primers, varnishes.. and started working... it took about.. 2 days to do one soldier. But I was so happy with how he turned out...
It apparently turned out so good as a first painted mini.. that i've had so many people excited to hear what I will do with the hobby... whether I open up my services to trade mini's and paint them for people, to sell them, and so on... Miniature painting is an artform in of itself and can take a while to master... but it is fun. My father once said
"well... if you have the opportunity to turn your nerdism into something more and make a living off of something you genuinely enjoy doing.. that's even better right?"
So.. I'm going to keep trying out this Miniature thing! If my life is already going to slow down.. this gives me opportunity to truly try things out! And if the excitement and painting consistency stays, I think I may try turning it into something more.. But who knows!
I don’t have a perfectly mapped future right now. But I don't think I need to… life isn't supposed to be pre-determined, just lived in. Life is about living it, and when you live it, you truly get to understand and experience it and understand that the things you’ve done and enjoyed have led you to where you are. Determining the future can never truly tell you all of that.
And honestly, that feels like enough for May.
Thank you for reading, for being here, and for sharing a small part of life alongside me.
— Wani
Comments